DEAR BUGGS,  / ROSE GRMA TO ANGEL BRITTANY SYFERT

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Just thinking about you  / Kristen Anglen (Friend)

I miss you oh so much!! You have been on my mind a lot lately. I really miss our talks. There are just some things that I could only talk about with you. I really miss my best friend :( Life will never be the same. I don't think anyone knows me better :) I love you so much honey :)

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Life / Mark Traill (Dad)
   It has been three weeks since the Kidney transplant. The family is still amazed at how strong you felt about donating your kidney. It was no surprise to me as I know what an awesome heart you had. They say time diminishes the pain. So far it hasn't helped.
    The pain is real as is the emptyness inside. We all know our days are numbered, yet most agree you left to soon. I wish I knew why GOD called you home. I miss your smile and warm hugs beyond words. 
    The complete joy and Honor I feel as your Dad seems to multiply the loss. You were truely a very wonderful man. You picked such fantastic friends ( Family ) Buddy & Kristen are great people, as is Marissa. It is easy to see why you loved them.
     It was a privilege to be a friend of yours. I love the memories and the times we shared. It is cool that the first & last pictures of you were of us. Damn I wish we had time to create more memories. I pray for peace for all who knew and miss you. I love you so very much.
    Rest in Peace Son. You are missed & Loved Forever. Close

Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!!!  / Buddy &. Kristen Anglen (Friend)
We wish you were here to celebrate all of the holidays with us!  We miss you so much and we will be thinking of you.  We love you!!! Close

One Year Ago Today!!!  / Kristen Anglen (Friend)
I wish that I had the same frame of mind as Jaycee!!  A year ago when we were standing in the emergancy room Jaycee asked why I was crying so I told her that you  had went to heaven and she looked at me as serious as can be and said "It's okay Mom that is where Popa is".  She is so sweet!!  If I would only listen to what I tell her.  I know that you being in heaven is a good thing.  It is just hard to accept that you not being here with us is a good thing.  We all miss you so much and I don't think that will ever get any earsier.  I love you!!!!!   Close

My Son  / Dad

Oh Bugg's you left us to soon. I know it was God's will yet I can't understand his timeing. After what you had endured you not only survived but grew. You had many gifts including the ablity to read people and a heart that is rare in todays world. I was truly blessed to be you Dad and friend. The people in your life are great people and there is a lot of comfort to my heart to know and talk to them.You affected so many people with your silly grin and quick wit.      
   What we would'nt give to have you with us now. The sad truth is we have to go on and trust that things are as they should be. I know if you are watching us there is sadness in your heart for you see things that should not be yet can't change them.
     We will go on I am blessed in life and you know I miss you so very much. We still have one last get togther yet todo. I pray that whwen that day come's all who are there will feel your spirit through the good times locked in our memories which noone can touch nor taint.
    I pray for peace for all who missyou and truly were friends of yours. We 
laugh & cry at your antics. Your herat of a true men is missed and can't be replaced. though we move forward in life the place you have in our hearts is unmovable. You are Awesome Son.

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One year  / Marissa Anderson (Girlfriend)
I can't believe it's been one year since our lifes were tragically changed. One year ago today we lost a very special person. Words aren't enough to explain how much you are missed. I miss your voice, your smile, your laugh, your touch, your kiss, your jokes, your smell, your love, and everything about you. You were my world and since you left it has been turned upside down. My life is just starting to come back together but there will always be a void where you once were. You will forever be in my heart and on my mind and no one will ever be able to take your place. I miss my best friend. I am so thankfull we got to spend the time we did together you taught me so much about life and love and I am forever gratefull to you for that. The time wasn't long enough. I can't write any more right now today is very hard on me. We all miss you so very much and our hearts are still broke without you. O my love this is so hard.


I love you forever

Love,

Your Baby Close

Thanksgiving / Marissa Anderson (Girlfriend)
Hey babe. It's been a while since I wrote you but I know you hear me talking to you all the time. This time of year is so hard for all of us. I remember last year on Thanksgiving you were so excited to get to spend the day doing what you loved doing, riding bikes with your dad. I ran into you guys at QT I was getting gas and so were you and I told you you better be careful and you gave me a kiss and a hug and said "I'm always careful honey" (I laughed) and you thought it was a good idea at that time to tell me how you scared yourself and your dad and as you put it "the seat was up your butt". Your dad told me later that when I left before you guys rode off you told him "I got to see my baby...now we can ride." You always called me to let me know you were ok anytime you went riding. I remember one time you went with Cody and you guys had a close call and you told him he better call his wife and tell her he loves her and you called me to tell me what happend and you guys were fine and you loved me. You were always so thoughtful. 

It's getting close to one year since you left us..I can't hardly believe it, it seems like just yesterday you were here with me. Then your birthday and christmas...I'm sure we will have another celebration for your birthday like we did lat year...we havn't talked about it really who knows maybe Kristen and I will just sit around and talk about memories, not that we don't do that anyway...Whatever happends we will all be thinking about you and as it was said by Josh before Christmas Eve will forever be a day of remembrance in your honor.

 Hopefully we can get the tape Kristen and Buddy have of you on a DVD and on the comp I'm sure we aren't the only ones that miss hearing your voice. And that video doesn't show much of you but we can hear you laugh loud and clear lol. 

My life has been going pretty good latley ...I just need you to help me accept that things are going to be different without you and that it's ok I can be happy...I know your glad that I'm doing better it doesn't get better I have just been able to cope with the pain. We all miss you so much and more and more with each passin day.

There are so many things I wish you were here to share with us. Like how Kadens growing up and Kaylee too they both are getting so big it's amaizing how they are growing. And Jaycee's cheerleading compitition last weekend she did so good..her first comp and they got 1st place! She nailed that cartwheel!!! I know your were watching down on her and are so proud.

I wanted to tell you HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!! and that we all will be thinking about you tomorrow. We all love you and miss you so very much! Keep watching over us like you always do. 

I miss you more than words can say. I love you forever.

XOXO all my love,
Your baby girl Close

Ol times  / Melissa *.

its been awhile since i've wrote but i still think about you all the time. i just can't believe its been almost a year since the phone call. you know my parents moved to okc this past month (i still think there are tire marks in the street from you) so now i really don't have a reason to visit owasso anymore but no matter how many times i visit i still look at classics parking lot just to see if i can see the mustang and i still expect to run into you at a store and wait to hear what wise crack comment you'd make when i finally did see you.  its hard to break old habits i guess. and the crazy part about all this is i've made a friend that i thought i'd NEVER be able to talk to... KRISTEN..weird huh? i figure you were just sitting there with a big ol grin on your face when we actually did talk and not yell or cuss at eachother.FINALLY WE GET ALONG and its all because of YOU!!your probably wanting to kick us for not doing that when you wanted us to. we did some pretty stupid things fighting for you! but we both also knew you were worth fighting for. i think every person who knew you would do whatever it took for you! its nice sharing old stories with kristen though. i think we just mostly laugh at how stupid we were back then but its nice. i just want you to know that you hold a special part of my heart and you will never be forgotten! YOU ARE TRUELY ONE OF A KIND!!!

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A most Amazing Son/Nephew  / Kade Stephens (Aunt Kade )
Buggs,
You are a most amazing young man. I miss our phone chats, and laughs. I just miss you. I can't believe its been nearly a year since you vacated our planet. What  a void you left. One of the things I loved about you the most was your honesty. What a virtue to have. Not many people are honest like you. I wish for so amny things for you, but you don't need those things cause you are in Heaven with our Lord!I will love you forever. I will keep tabs on your Dad and keep loving him.He is one of the good guys. He sure misses you son. You can never be replaced. I hope some day it won't hurt so much to have you gone.
I love you forever.
Aunt Kade   Close

One Wing In The Fire  / Kristen Anglen (Friend)
I think about you evey time I hear that song by Trent Tomlinson. "He is an angel with no halo and one wing in the fire.  And I know he lives a little left of living right and he's came a little close to going way to far a few times."  You are my angel with one wing in the fire.  Yet I know you have a halo even though it is probably on sideways or around your neck   Actually knowing you it is probably both around your neck and sideways!!!  I love you oh so much and miss you terribly!!!  Not a day goes by that you are not in my thoughts. Close

Time / Marissa Anderson (Girlfriend)
I will NEVER "get over" losing you, but the more time passes the more I realize that although your body may not be here that your always with me in spirit. The pain will never go away but time has slowly eased the hurt in my heart. I may not fully understand Gods plan but I know now you have a greater purpose to serve in Heaven and he needed you. I will NEVER forget our love, your smile, your laugh, your hug, your kiss, everything about you that made me fall in love with you. Everywhere I go until I take my last breath you will go because you own a part of my life and my heart and that will never change. I miss my best friend. Keep watching over us and keeping us safe. Till we meet again....
I love you forever

Marissa Close

Forever Changed  / Marissa Anderson (Girlfriend)
Forever Changed 



Can you see the change in me?
It may not be so obvious to you
I participate in family activities.
I attend family reunions..
I help plan holiday meals.
You tell me you're glad to see
that I don't cry anymore.
But I do cry!
When everyone has gone
- when it is safe-
the tears fall.
I cry in privacy so my family won't worry.
I cry until I am exhausted
and can finally sleep.
You tell me you admire my strength
and my positive attitude.
But I am not strong,
I feel that I have lost control;
and I panic
when I think about tomorrow....
next week....
next year.
I go about the routine of my job.
I complete my assigned tasks.
I drink coffee and smile.
You tell me you are glad to see I'm "over"
the death of my loved one.
But I'm not "over" it.
If I were to get over it,
I would be the same as
before my loved one died.
I will never be the same.

At times I think
I am beginning to heal
but the pain of losing someone
I loved so much
has left a permanent scar on my heart.
I visit my neighbors.
You tell me that you're glad
to see I'm holding up so well.
But I'm not holding up well.
Sometimes I want to lock the
door and hide from the world.
I spend time with my friends,
I seem calm and collected.
I smile when appropriate.
You tell me
it's good to see me
back to my "old self"
But I will never be back to my "old self".
Death and grief, have touched my life....
and I am forever changed.
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I miss you  / Marissa Anderson (Girlfriend)
I went over to Justin and Natalies house the other day for the first time in a long time. They turned our old room into a computer room. It took me a while to be able to go into the room... I just stood at the door and look around...taking it all in. It looked so different yet so much like it was still our room. And the bathroom we used they continued with the duck theme and painted the walls yellow. It looks so cute! Oh and I'm so happy Justin said I could keep the bed that we slept in! I don't know how I'm going to handle it but it's another thing we shared that I get to keep close to me. I love going over there and seeing Justin, Natalie and Jadyn I miss them alot. And oh baby, Jadyn is soo big!! She is still a sweet little mess just like she used to be. You 2 would have so much fun playing now. But it's still hard going over there...I don't know if it will ever get easier. Kaden is getting so big so fast. He's walking and talking now and he's Mo Mo's little man! I know that you loved him and it was always a fight when we would go over to see him because you wouldn't let me hold him. You were such a baby hog! I know you have some beautiful babies in heaven to play with now. I will make sure when Kaden grows up he knows what a special person you were and how much he ment to you. The only person in your family I talk to any more is your dad and it's been a while. I try to check in on him and see how he's doin from time to time. It's so hard for him..like it is for all of us but we find a way to get thru each day....somehow.  It's finally starting to click for me that your really not comming back. I still have those days when I refuse to believe it and thats really hard for me. I still can't imagine my life without you. My one true love...it's so hard without you. I still don't understand why you were taken from us. It just doesn't make sence.  People keep saying it's all part of God's plan and your in a better place. I guess I'm just selfish because I don't like Gods plan...I need you here with me.. we had a good place. I can't wait to be with you again to hug and kiss you to hear your voice again. I'm never going to let go! I miss you more with each passing day. My heart still aches for you.  I LOVE YOU BABY! Close

I miss you Nathaniel  / Beth Myers (friend)

well nathaniel, i still hate to come to work and not see you here, or have you running around texting all the time.  I hate to look in your office and not see you sitting there, so i try not to look - and still dont go in there.... We all miss you so much and I never realized how good of a friend you were to me until you were gone.  I miss you is all i really can say.  Wish you were here to stand next to us, but i know you are here-in all our hearts, God Bless you nathaniel traill.....

AND THAT BABY TRAILL, i tell you-is one of the most beautiful baby boys i have ever seen, i know your proud.

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